Thursday, January 14, 2010

Esotropia / Exotropia

It has been almost two months since my Strabismus surgery. While my eyes were pretty straight for several weeks they are now wandering around again. I am pretty tired right now, so perhaps I should make it a rule not to take photos when I should be taking a rest.

My left eye turns in when I look at things about 12 inches from my face and it wanders out when I look across the room. The first photo I am looking close up and the second photo I am looking far away and you can see, my right eye is fixating while the other is ditching the two eyed system.

I still feel grateful because my eyes are so much better than the way they used to look, and my vision feels more natural. The surgeon was right in saying a lot can happen in three months. But again, I am sure with work in VT I can correct this. No one said this would be an easy journey and I know I just need to keep working in Vision Therapy as hard as I can and have faith.


  1. Heather,

    Wow. That's a bummer. Keep on truckin'.

    How much (% of time) are you seeing in 3-D?

    And, as an aside, what would a movie like Avatar look like?



  2. Hey James, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your note!
    Slowly my 3d world seems to be getting dull. I don't know what is happening. This is so elusive and I have learned to be patient, but sometimes, I just want to scream WTF is happening!? I did see Avatar and it was spectacular. I want to see it again (only seats were way up front and I think if I got to sit a bit further away it would be even more amazing!)
    In the very beginning of the film the guy is in that box and he wakes up and I had an instant feeling of claustrophobia, (which I actually have in real life!) so that told me that i must be seeing it in 3d~!
    I have to stay calm and know that i can work on these eyes. I can do this! I just have to work at getting to know what it feels like to have them straight...which is basically like trying to move your liver! But, I am sticking to this and not giving up and staying positive. I will get this!
    Thank you so much for your nice notes, they mean a lot to me!

  3. Heather,

    You are welcome.

    I just added a post to that may have an insight for you.



  4. Hi Heather, how I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug right now! I'm so sorry that your eyes are wandering off, and I do know how you must be feeling.

    I was so happy and hopeful after my adjustable sutures surgery because I had the mirror with me and boy, were my eyes beautifully straight! However, the next morning, when I woke up, that eye had gone from exo all the way in - not just slightly, but very obviously. I was so heartbroken. And yet, I felt I needed to be positive and hopeful.

    In the end, I just kept swinging from being discouraged and sad, to really hopeful and positive - you know what I mean?

    I haven't done an eye update in a while on my blog because it doesn't seem to get much better or worse. Sometimes I think it looks acceptable, sometimes I am shocked at how esotropic I am now. And I can't help wondering what people are seeing - snatches of normalcy or intermittent esotropia? Sigh.

    It is a long, long journey. I went from being sad, to heaping all my energy into vision therapy, to being so overwhelmed by the exercises, to giving up, to having hope again.... the cycle goes on. Hang in there, Heather!! You're not alone.

    Within the next 10 days, I will be seeing my surgeon again at the 3 month mark. When I went for my 6 week check up, she already said that it looks like I'd need another surgery to correct it. Groan! Half the time, I feel NOOOO! I can't afford it and I'd hate to waste the time, effort, pain and energy on something that might not last a month. But at other times I feel like I must remain positive and do whatever possible to help my eyes and myself. GRRRR!!

    I can say that when I do my anti suppression (red/green) exercises, my eyes appear alligned for the next few hours. So before an outing or meeting, I try doing it for at least 10 straight minutes (because I'm vain HAHA). And I also decided that every 4 days, I just need a break from eye exercises (and I also read this somewhere on a vision therapy website that we should have a break about once or twice a week - the brain works and learns better). And I'm realising that when I begin feeling pressured and stressed with how I'm losing eye control or not getting the exercise, I need to stop. Do something I enjoy, and then go back to it.

    Keep the hope, Heather. And thank you for sharing your story so honestly here.



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